Come down off the ledge, John.
The best way to fix it? I hope beyond hope that Lerner is getting the following advice:
“Randy, you are 2 steps into a 5 step process. The first 2 steps are always the most difficult in reversing a decade or more of losing. Most organizations retreat at step 3 forcing them to start all over again,” says the championship coaching god.
“So we should stay the course?” asks Lerner.
“Hell no. Romeo is a dud. Nice guy, but a HC dud. So is that DC and the entire defensive staff, for that matter.” coaching god says. “That Savage dude is a great scout that thinks that because he’s a great scout, he’s a great GM. Doesn’t work that way. Your finding that out.”
“So I should fire them all?” Lerner questions.
“Nope. Just the ones that deserve it,” says Champ Coaching God Dude.
Silence. Followed by more silence.
“...and who deserves it?” asks Lerner.
“Search your heart,” the coaching god replies.
“WTF kind of advice is that? You suck at advice. I’m just gonna fire them all and hire some new suits to run the show.”
POOF! The coaching god disappears.
Lerner attempts to split hairs by stripping Savage’s final 53 power, only to have Savage fight him on the contractual obligation. Lawyers fight and squabble while Savage is forcibly removed from Berea headquarters without clearing his desk. Savage gets pissed cuz’ he wants his favorite squishy stress ball, breaks in with a kitchen knife given to Savage by Lerner for a housewarming gift, but gets caught in the act. Rather than go quietly, Savage jumps into the duct system above to escape but gets stuck. Some newbie cop snaps a shot of Savage’s duff and dangling legs sticking out of the duct while cops play cards on the table below. The image gets circulated on the internet and becomes the internet “photo of the year,” earning the cop $1 Million dollars. Savage accepts a severance, retiring to a beach someplace in Southern Florida with his favorite stress-ball, vowing, “I am the world’s greatest scout. Fear me!”
The Browns go 13-3, defeat the Denver Broncos in the AFC Championship and win the Super Bowl over the Green Bay Packers, 34-27.
See, all is good!
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